The homework today for AP Statistics was to toss a coin a hundred times and then record the result.  Hmm ... what busy work (for a computer).

#!/usr/bin/perl -w
# Usage: ./$0 $sample_size $event_name $probability [$event_name $probability ..]
use strict;

my @tmp = @ARGV;
die "Not enough arguments" if scalar(@tmp) < 3;
my $total = shift @tmp;
my %events = @tmp;
my $sum = 0;
for (values %events) {
$sum += $_;
}
die "Sum of probabilities $sum != 1" unless $sum == 1;

my @keys = sort keys(%events);
for(my $count = 1; $count <= $total; $count++) {
my $result = rand;
my $lower = 0;
my $name = undef;
foreach (@keys) {
my $upper = $lower + $events{$_};
if($lower <= $result && $result < $upper) {
$name = $_;
last;
}
else {
$lower = $upper;
}
}
die "Out of range" unless defined $name;
print "${count}: ${name}\n";
}
exit 0;

In all: ./randsamp 100 heads 0.5 tails 0.5
The Perl script can work with a variable number of arguments, assuming that the first denotes the sample size and the rest are pairs of event names and probabilities.  Of course, the sum of the probabilities must exactly equal 1 or else the script dies.
Remember to adjust the shebang line to point to the path of your Perl installation.

This should be self-explanatory.  A few days ago, I took a random glimpse at peoples' status messages, and the dichotomy could not be ignored.

QN, at least your misfortune will be humorously immortalized.